It's a Novel Idea

I'm a writer at heart. I'm mainly a poet, but am trying to venture out. I started this blog to try to expand my horizons in the writing world, and now I have started to expand further and start a novel. I have wrote numerous short stories and poems and articles, but never a full fledged novel.

I keep asking myself if I can do it or not.

I came up with the idea recently when I started reading a book and got upset that the story wasn't going how I wanted it, and realized I can make a book that goes exactly as I want it to go. 

So I sat there thinking and my brain did it's thinking things and voila! My novel idea begins.

I started writing what would be wrote on the back of the book to get readers interested and am going to copy and paste it here straight from my mind to your eyes. Feel free for critiques, opinions, rants, raves, questions, comments, concerns, etc.

Enjoy.

"He loved her like he had never loved anything or anyone before in his entire life. She was this  girl that showed up in the most random place, but help the most important part of his life. She was that feeling you get when you get out the shower and use a towel straight from the dryer, still warm and extra soft. She was that first flower that you saw after a long harsh winter, the hope that something better was about to come along. She was the beginning of your favorite song after a long day when you just wanted something good to finally happen. She was all that was good in life. Was.

He would swear up and down that the girl standing at the supermarket, perusing the produce with the short blonde hair was her. The girl that he joked about being so short compared to him. That same girl that squealed whenever he hugged her from behind and lifted her and spun her in circles until they were too dizzy. Until the woman would turn around to an awkward teenage boy staring at her, did he realize she was really gone and out of his life." *Written by Darcy Deckard*

I'm Not Down with This Sickness

What is cancer? Is it merely a disease or a zodiac sign? It is much more than that.

For a survivor of the disease, it is a road bump that they have overcome. 

For someone struggling with the disease it is probably the hardest thing they are dealing with.

For some, it is what GOD planned for them to finally meet him.

What about the people that are living with someone with cancer?

When a family is affected by cancer, it is debilitating not only for the one with cancer, but also for the family. 

In 2010, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and passe away 10 months later.

Although hard, I am thankful for the time i got to spend with him.

One thing that is never really talked about is that time when someone is waiting for the results of their tests. Whether their life will change or stay the same. That terrifying time between "We think you may have cancer and would like to perform a biopsy" and "I'm sorry to tell you this, but we were right."

When I lost my dad, this was just about the only thing on my mind. It is easy to describe how I felt, but how did he? I can't imagine how scared he was... or maybe he was the opposite? Thankful? 

It's hard to know, but I like to think that when he entered through the pearly gates none of that mattered anymore. 

R.I.P. Daddy

I love you

Fathers' Day!

With Fathers' Day quickly approaching it is becoming ever more apparent that I am lacking in the Father department. Not because I had a deadbeat dad or anything; my dad passed away 2 years ago. He passed when I was 16, almost 17. 

This man was the most incredible man I ever had the pleasure and opportunity of meeting. He was kind, intelligent, and so much more. His best quality was probably his humor. He had the ability to make anyone he met laugh until they cried. He had such a cheesy sense of humor, and I am thankful I inherited. 

His favorite joke was "A three legged dog walked into a bar and says 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw(pa)'" It is a lame joke and probably would make more sense to speak it, but I laugh simply because it was his joke. 

I miss him like crazy every single day.

On March 25, 2011 my father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It was devastating. 

He had been in the hospital for about a week before they actually knew what was wrong with him. On that morning I walked upstairs to his room, which had acquired a new sign on the door. It was a warning sign with a huge word on it, so I immediately looked it up. No one else knew why I mysteriously started crying. The doctor came in a few hours later to reveal the news. I think my dad knew though. I think he knew that week while in the hospital that it was cancer, I think we all knew, we just didn't say anything, as if in fear of jinxing the situation. 

Like any new thing to effect a family, we learned how to deal and how to respond as a Family.

It was hard, watching him slowly dying and yet having hope that he would pull through.

That's the hardest part. Not the death or the dying. 

The Hope. 

He fought for 10 months, countless bouts with chemo and radiation. Numerous doctors visits, lab test, you name it. By the time he passed, we were familiar with the oncology staff. They even let me in the nurses room and take ice cream as I pleased. 

We knew that when Hospice started coming that the day was going to come soon.

Hospice is a great service, but its terrifying when they become a part of your family.

My dad was a fighter. No matter what he stayed strong for everyone. 

While he was sick, he put all asie when my best friend died just to be there for me.

I love that man and admire him so much.

I miss him dearly, but I believe he is in Heaven and not hurting anymore.

"Chillin' with Jesus"

Happy Fathers' Day, Daddy.
I Love You.